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December 3rd, 2012

12:01 am
Making money is cool...

But it can be tiring too.

I don't have much free time anymore as compared to what I had in college :/ *le sigh*

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September 3rd, 2012

01:05 am - On a more positive note....
I guess I've posted lot of negative entries lately about gloomy political subjects (like gun control and abortion)...so on to a more positive note - I'm done with school for the time being (unless I choose to pursue a phd, which is highly unlikely anytime in the foreseeable future), have a wonderful boyfriend who I believe is the best and most complementary person for me, annnnnd I'm starting my first real career job in less than two days!

I've gone through teenage angst, college years, and now onto the rest of my adult life as a gainfully employed member of society (woohoo). Plus, I'm almost done with CPA!!!! That will be a huge burden off my back when it's over, bleh. Then I can finally rest and do with my free time what I will like cook, read, pin things on pinterest, watch movies, whatever friggin' hobby or activity that I want to do, I can do it without feeling guilty about having to study for the damn CPA. Well, that is all, happy Labor Day!

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August 28th, 2012

12:20 am - I'M SO SICK OF IT
I'm sick of all this shooting bullshit and how gun control reform is not coming! If anyone wonders why I care about this issue so much - it's because this is about my own, as well as others', safety and welfare. It's about quality of life, dammit, I don't want to have to be frightened of going to watch a movie in a movie theater because I think that some gun-wielding mentally unstable psycho is going to shoot up the theater! Or even the recent incident outside the Empire State building where a former employee shot and killed his supervisor out on the streets. I'm sick of guns and all their mess. And then you read articles to educate yourself on the issue and see such varied (euphemism for clashing) opinions. Some people look to Russia and say how if you take firearms away from civilians, then they will only get into the hands of the criminals. But then in Australia, a huge national firearms program was implemented after a mass shooting (not unlike the one that happened in Aurora, Colorado, for instance) and the government paid people decent money to buy back civilian firearms. And public shootings have dropped ever since - there was definitely a correlation between decreasing amounts of firearms in the populace to a decrease in public gun-related shootings. In fact, they haven't had a mass shooting since that program was implemented. But I guess the bottom line would be that you can't expect the exact same results in the United States as to other countries in the world but the frequency of these shootings where innocent people are caught in the crossfire...it begs for change. It's sad that individual activism falls short in the machinations of working reform into the gun laws, especially against the politically powerful NRA....but when is enough GOING TO BE enough??? Why must people think that adding guns to their households and propagating gun sales to the public will mitigate the problem of unstable human beings using them as a weapon to act out their latent aggressions and/or psychoses, etc? Part of the issue is that guns are ingrained in American culture, but I'm talking about safety for its sake here! I just think it's wrong that innocent people should be suffering and adding to the death toll when something could reasonably be done to ease this problem.

I'm also stunned at how so many gun lovers will balk at the slightest mention of ANY kind of investigation into the current gun laws. There's a thing called negotiation and finding a middle ground - that's what diplomacy is all about - and they need to understand that not everyone who is against guns is trying to take their guns away from them! We're not all trying to be underhanded thieves and rob people of their legitimate possessions. I'm saying, why can't we sit down and implement some positive action to make gun laws a little more stringent than they are? Things like having to undergo training classes, psychological screenings, registering them on a national registry....creating deterrents for possible mass murderers from getting their hands on firearms easily. All I'm wondering is when are the powers that run the nation going to be brave enough to infuse a bit of change on such a politically-charged issue? Gun violence, especially the senseless killings that have happened in the media lately, are so horrifying because bullets, and the psychopaths (or trained killers, call them what you will) that wield the guns and shoot them, do not discriminate. Your only fault would have been that you were in a presumably safe public location when a preventable disaster descended. And that's really fucked up, in every sense of the phrase.

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July 30th, 2012

11:11 pm - Wow
Heh, this is another topic that my boyfriend and I had discussed just a couple of days ago - learning algebra in grade school. Both of us have never had a history of having problems with math, and although he's more mathematically inclined than I am (he got perfect scores on SAT math and all the SAT II math subject tests he took), I still appreciate the subject and have done relatively well in mathematics courses. Although it wasn't explicitly stated, I'm pretty sure that we are both of the same frame of mind that algebra is an essential stepping stone and foundation to higher mathematics. And this is on the assumption that higher mathematics is essential to a student's academic curriculum.

And then lo and behold, I stumbled upon this article:


I like JustAGuy's and jjwynne's comments on the topic.

As for my opinion, this made me feel slightly queasy upon reading it and I think this article is absolute drivel.
Current Mood: shockedaghast

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July 22nd, 2012

01:49 am - the crap that ppl say.....
I just had to post this on here because it's so unbelievably stupid and ludicrous.

This is in response to the recent, tragic event in Aurora, Colorado - below is my reply to a comment on Facebook (from someone who is in favor of stricter regulation on firearms):

"seriously.....tell me about it! need i even mention that a gun proponent had the nerve to say, “Potentially, if there had been a law-abiding citizen who had been able to carry in the theater, it’s possible the death toll would have been less.” uhhh okay, like anybody would be able to distinguish crap in that whole mess with the tear gas diffused throughout the theater...and that that situation wouldn't have escalated into an even bigger and more bloody fiasco with the introduction of MORE guns into the equation....."

My boyfriend made a very good point today in response to that quote listed above saying that it's difficult for even expertly-trained gunmen to distinguish their targets. This is evidenced by the significant casualties of friendly fire...it's not like that term is bandied around for no reason. And then it being a dark, enclosed place with many people crammed together, total chaos having ensued, and limited visibility with tear gas having been deployed - how can anyone in his/her right mind think that ADDING guns to the situation would have possibly made it better? In that vein, my boyfriend also remarked that untrained civilians could accidentally shoot someone whilst whipping out their guns and and that it would be extremely difficult to tell who was the culprit in this matter if multiple people started using their firearms in that scenario, which I wholeheartedly agree with. Anywho, I thought those were excellent arguments to this raging debate over possible reform and/or stricter regulation of gun laws.
Current Mood: frustratedflabbergasted

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March 8th, 2012

12:15 am
I've said it on Twitter but I might as well say it on here, too - my life has totally been consumed by Pinterest for the last few days...it's my new latest addiction

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March 5th, 2012

02:22 am
My mantra for this year should be, "I shall not eat at buffets." I mean..it's not like I ever pretended to have self discipline anyway. Diets, bleh. On the other hand, super excited for my boyfriend to come visit this weekend!! A partial reason I'm on a diet, because I want to look better for him, and partially because I'm meeting his mom, too, haha. I'm not going for a skinny, frail look, but I would definitely look and feel better if I lost like 5-10 pounds. Definitely not possible this week, but perhaps by the end of the year. That'd be pretty sweet.

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February 27th, 2012

02:57 am
I feel really sad today :(...it's one thing for my crazy, abandonment issue-plagued close friend to fantasize about suicide, and it's another for my brother in the military to talk to me about it. He was being serious about it since he is depressed, and I broke down crying on the phone today. The worst part is, there's not much I can do while I'm in school and he's over there. I still have to study for finals and he can't leave base. This is going to be a weight on me for a long time :*(

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February 14th, 2012

01:55 am
Sometimes I feel like a bad person when one of my best friends, who by the way likes me more than I like her (you know that nothing in life is completely equal), annoys the shit out of me like half the time I talk to her (through any form of communication). I can't stand her prick boyfriend...and I really hate the way she's so negative and takes little jabs at my relationship...which I'm aware is fledgling, mind you, but there's nothing but positive things in my perspective except when she fucking goes nuts and clings onto one fact and desperately runs with it to negative ends of the earth. For example, before I went to visit my boyfriend for the second time in our long-distance relationship..she was like, "What if he's a murderer? And has heads in his apartment?" I'm thinking something like......."Umm...hello?? What ze fuck is wrong with you? Who actually thinks that, and then has the nerve to SAY it?" Needless to say, I was P-I-S-S-E-D. It wasn't only an affront to my boyfriend, it was a personal affront to my intelligence! I make it a point not to even be friends with anyone who I think may have some mental imbalance (bar my friend in this example, lol) or ANY type of murderous inclinations, let alone fucking date someone who exhibits anything alone these lines. I was fucking mad about that for days, although I knew her intentions were not misplaced in saying it (because she was concerned for me) but I couldn't shake off how annoyed I was. It's stressful enough to be in a long-distance relationship with certain unknown factors because we don't get to hang out all the time, and then for her to voice something so fucking ridiculous and ruin my mood before my little trip up there for V-Day weekend...........I was the most annoyed and mad at her that I had been in a long time. And this is because I BELIEVE in the goodness of my relationship. I wouldn't have got so mad if I had been dating some loser or douchebag (well..unwittingly, as I had done before, because then I really would have had subconscious doubts that would have surfaced and I would have truly taken her opinion into consideration) but I will fucking fight to the end for what I believe is true. That's really the fundamental reason why I got so mad, because she was trying to tear down and dismiss, without having meaningful information to back it up, a cause that I truly believe in, because I'm the one fucking talking and evaluating my relationship every damn day, not her. She just threw out the most negative fucking piece of shit information she could cling to because her relationship sucks! And I think all of my friends and my boyfriend are getting sick of me ranting about her crazy up and down relationship, but I need to let it out SOMEHOW SOMEWHERE, so that's what I'm doing.

Even today, she sent me something on email that makes me want to grind my teeth: "i found out something really surprising and awesome tonight. [her boyfriend's name] and i are on the exact same page about the age to start having kids! he said our average age would be 30 so i'd be 28.4 and he'd be 31.6 and conception at 27. fabulousssssssssssssss." Okay.....this doesn't make any fucking sense to me because they fight all the damn time and the guy has commitment issues. If you're held on a string all the time on an emotional rollercoaster, and the guy's not even willing to man up to lay down his commitment issues, then I cannot rationally see how it's fucking "fabuloussssssssssssss" to designate corresponding ages to have kids at! Now I NEVER would've thought she'd be the type of person to say shit to me out of jealousy, but maybe she's been saying extra shit and being extra fucking happy with these little emotional bones that he's been throwing at her (and her lapping them up like a fucking dog) because she subconciously knows that her relationship isn't the healthiest thing in the world, while mine, on the other hand, so far is. And another thing is that over Valentine's Day weekend, she sent me this: "already had wonderfulllllllllll 140ish dollar meal last night and im cooking this on monday night. two valentines days this year! so exciting." What is up with all these prolonged last letters??? My boyfriend and I had a fucking awesome time with our cheap store-bought $10 pasta sauce and noodle meal that we cooked up at his apartment while saving $130 dollars. It kind of sounds like bragging if you ask me....and was that said to make me jealous? That's great (*sarcastic here*) that she can have two fucking Valentine's dinners with her boyfriend because he lives in the same city as her..but I can't do that because my boyfriend and I live almost 1,000 miles apart at the moment. And who in the HELL is she to tell me what I can and cannot do. I remember last week or so, I was making small talk about my relationship on Skype and she said, "You can't sign a lease in March." I'm thinking, "And who the fuck are you?" I told her right away to not tell me what I can and cannot do and to not talk to me like that again. I don't have friends who talk like that to me. Why can't she, as a friend, be a little fucking supportive in this process instead of immediately telling me what I can and "can't" fucking do? As my boyfriend would say, this matter is out of her fucking "jurisdiction." She's not my mom, nor my family member, and has no place to tell me I "can't" do this or that with my boyfriend. I, as a 24-year-old, can very well do whatever the hell I please as long as I have a full-time job up there. For Chrissakes, my own mom is supportive - both of my parents are supportive - his parents are supportive - everyone's fucking supportive except my 2 crazy close (I don't even feel right calling them best friends or anything anymore) friends who have CRAZY fucking relationships. Both of them who I've known since middle school, and therefore I feel like I shouldn't really be judged as to how they make poor dating and life choices/decisions. One of them was in a fucking physically abusive relationship while the other one is pregnant out of wedlock with a barely existant baby's father. It may be an ad hominem attack I'm launching here pointing out the fallacies of their crappy love lives, but seriously, as a fucking human being, it is kind of difficult to hear negative ass bullshit from hypocritical fucking mouths. That's all it boils down to, really. I mean, I seriously try to be open-minded and patient, but they're just the type of people who sometimes GRATE my fucking nerves 'til they're frazzled by their hypocrisy and negativity and pessimism (due to their having experienced negative life events) but it all comes down to...I don't NEED or WANT that in my life. I don't care for their bullshit if they don't have some fucking logical (this is really important too!) facts to back it up. My boyfriend is just not like the type of people they have dated, so if they don't understand him, and want to misinterpret my relationship, they don't have to say shit to me. I came to a decision a week or so ago that if I had to leave their friendships because they're not conducive to my life happiness, I would. I don't care if that's a selfish motive or not, because it's the honest one. Plus, they are a bit crazy. I can't take any type of relationship thing they say seriously when one of them says that a "good day" for her and her boyfriend is when they "fought only once." Like seriously??? What the fuck? That is not normal. My boyfriend and I have intelligently argued about certain important issues once in a while, in a mature and communicative manner, but for the most part, our communications are of a very positive nature. Whereas she, on the other hand, has crazy grilling interrogative question sessions fueled by her boyfriend's jealousy, and a lot of their main medium of communication when not together, is by text message, not even a phone call. He will tell her what not to wear if he's not going to someplace with her - and the outfit isn't even that racy or slutty! And he told her that if he didn't know where she was for 5 minutes, he would think she's cheating on him. And a month or so ago, he convinced himself she had a mental illness and she went to therapists for it. And the sad part of all this is that I'm one of her only outlets to let this all out. I'm her "best friend" as she tells me. I've even told her to be a healthy person and go try to find other friends to hang out with and talk to. But I feel like she doesn't tell them everything she tells me. While all the while, I've borne the knowledge of her annoying ass relationship for months on end with some guy who I think is a jerk and a bit of a douchebag, and she has the FUCKING NERVE to even mention that my boyfriend might exhibit some red and yellow flags (which I honestly don't believe)? I'm not religious, but "He who is without sin cast the first stone" is appropriate here. I just want to say, "Seriously...seriously? Come the fuck on" & "look who's talking." It's just like a punch to my ration-fucking-ale. The way her fucking personality is, it's not like I dislike talking to her about random events, small talk, deep discussions, whatever, I do enjoy that -- but there's a fucking limit to my friendship. The reason I haven't spoken up strongly against her relationship is for the very reason that I feel it's wrong to try to coerce someone into breaking up with someone. We're all fucking adults now, it's time to be hands off about bullshit, even your best friend's bullshit. And her personality is just one of those inanely annoying black and white, this is how it fucking is (no one else's opinion matters), starkly right and wrong, type of personalities who just have strong fucking opinions about EVERY-FUCKING-THING THAT EXISTS IN THIS FUCKING WORLD. And let me tell you, for someone who's mostly laid back in real life, that gets ANNOYING AS SHIT at times. So that's why I don't take it very well when she expresses her in-your-face opinions about my new relationship. For Chrissake's, let it BE. Be concerned, but don't pump your stupid will into my fucking life. I let you do what you want, and you should let me do what I want. You have a crappy ass boyfriend, so what? I'm not gonna go and MAKE you break up with them, I'm not your fucking mother, I don't have that type of say-so. Respect the fucking boundaries of being a human being on this planet, respect the subtle lines of friendship, respect my fucking intelligence to avoid life-threatening situations (at the least)....that's all I ask for. That's why I get mad, just fucking KNOW YOUR FUCKING PLACE and RESPECT people's DAMN DECISIONS. It's an insult to me as a human being when you try to interfere with the choices I WANT to make...I mean, Jesus Christ, do you think I make irrational fucking choices on a whim? And date people for no reason? Especially on that note - there better be multiple good reasons to date a person! I wonder when I'm going to stop getting annoyed. This past month I've been so fucking annoyed with her. I'm going to have to have a discussion with her about not talking about each others' boyfriends, that's all. I don't feel happy for her just because her and her boyfriend decided on a mutual and complementary age to have kids - I don't fucking care and I don't think they should have kids in the first place. Or that they have 140 fucking dollar Valentine's Day meals - I also don't fucking care about this, big whoopdedoo in my life, hope it tasted delicious. And I'm not happy for you because despite all those great-seeming things you just told me, I still think your boyfriend fucking sucks, and I still don't like him as a person (even without you involved in it). And if you feel the same way about my boyfriend, then whatever, I don't care, but don't talk to me about it and I won't talk to you about it. Simple fucking solution to a fucking friendship.
Current Mood: bitchybitchy

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February 4th, 2012

01:25 am
I'm not advocating for people who choose abortion as their main contraceptive, and I'm not trying to downplay the significance of a human life either. But the thing is, mistakes DO happen - there doesn't yet exist a 100% effective method of preventing unwanted (this being the keyword) pregnancies.....So with that being said, where in the hell do you (this is a broad-sweeping use of the term "you" for people who lean on the pro-life side) invariably get the right to try to interfere in someone else's major life decision? If the pregnancy is unwanted, and the couple tried everything in their human power to prevent it from happening, then I don't see as to why they shouldn't have the power to also end it. They may have really good reasons for not wanting to bring a life into this world, any of which could involve not being able to raise their kids in the right environment, not feeling stable enough in their relationship to provide stability to the kid, not being in an adequate financial situation...and yet there are still people who say it's better for a person to make the decision to keep the baby. How is that better when you throw an unwanted life onto someone? Is it better that the kid lives but is not given proper education or a nurturing environment, or perhaps not shown an adequate amount of love and kindness to become a healthy (in all dimensions - physical, emotional, mental) and productive adult? It doesn't seem fair to me to be able to preclude abortion from being a legal option given these types of circumstances.

And if that isn't argument enough - if there are still people who are fixated on the principle of the matter between life and death/"murder" - then there is one other thing that's a bit difficult to refute which is this: I honestly believe that people are going to do it anyways, regardless of the legality of the act. Then the question covers a broader spectrum of issues, including health, which also leads back to matters of life and death. If naysayers say it's wrong to take another's life, then by being opposed to offering a legal option for abortion for couples who seek it out, they may be endangering the lives of the women who are going to get it done anyways. It's part of human nature to break rules, and if the will and the desire are strong enough, people will take whatever means necessary to prevent an undesirable outcome from happening to him/herself, which springs partly from inherent human selfishness. I know this is a strong position to take, and a very sensitive, touchy subject, but my opinion about this has not changed, and is not likely to change. I'm not saying I'm an expert on the subject, and I'm certainly not an activist by any means - this is just a cross-section of my viewpoints on the ever-raging pro-life vs. pro-choice debate.

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